Friday, January 13, 2006
"In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter – bitter", he answered,
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."
01:58
Sunday, January 08, 2006
i dont deny the fact that im biased and irrational when it comes to certain issues. neither do i deny that i am dominant and want things my way. but
dont ever say that im like that cos i have the backing of people with higher authority. cos i dont. doesnt mean i know them well, or talk to them in a friendly manner means i am. sometimes it just means that i have no respect for them. what they think of me, or portray me to you is their business. i didnt ask for it. and i certainly dont suck up to them. cos sucking up really isnt my way of doing things.
im as straightforward as you see me. im happy, im happy. im angry, im angry. ill never show you a happy face when im upset unless it involves a whole lot of other people who should be feeling worse than i do, yet im the baby. never. and another thing ill never do is to steal friends away. ive gone through that shit and i know that the feeling sucks, so ill never do it to others. if we are close, its most probably because of a newfound common interest or something is going on that others shouldnt know about. but never will i intentionally break friendships up.
and i wished you had told me earlier so that i could change and done something to make the situation better. my intentions backfired. i can understand that. because i was too intent on getting results, neglecting the fact that not everything can be accomplished with the same methods. but the fact that you didnt inform me earlier and leaving me to sink deeper just shows that you didnt believe in me. and that, is what i find really disappointing.
would you believe me if i said that things were not what you thought? that you only saw what you saw and chose to believe what you saw without even confirming your suspicions. it doesnt matter that you thought badly of me, but to spread the word, thats just lowly. and only someone as insecure as you would do such a thing. to think i used to defend you when others spoke bad of you. what a fool i am.
while im sad that all these came to such a bad ending, im glad that ill never see you again.
22:36
Sunday, January 01, 2006
2005.whats there to say about it?
just like every other year, there's ups and downs, happiness and sadness, laughter and tears, rumours and truths. except that the year passed by really quickly. like, really quickly. as though 2005 is in a rush to go somewhere. even christmas came and left faster than a blink of the eye and a snap of the fingers. not much christmas feelings this year, except in hongkong where most buildings have lovely lightings and a nice cool winter weather to match. thought i could get down to doing some christmas cards and send out to those old friends whom have been missed dearly, but one thing led to another and before i knew it, santa claus already did his rounds.
2006.a year filled with unknowns. when a day passes by not knowing what to expect the next, because of the almost unlimited freedom. dont carry too much hope, just be glad to see the each day's sunrise and er, enjoy life! haha.
00:08
