Wednesday, August 23, 2006
for once, im feeling that the holidays are too long.
2 weeks - making it 14 days, 336 hours, 20160 minutes.. you get the drift.
maybe because this is one holiday that i didnt get to relax entirely,
even staying home to watch tv or laze around became exhausting by late afternoon.
the worse part? sleep doesnt come easy even at night.
things happen. some by will, some out of our control. true, one day the wounds will heal but memories dont. like a scar, they remain etched in our head and its these memories that are treasured.
till death do us part - you left us behind to carry a whole new journey of your (after)life alone, or maybe with your beloved sister that went ahead three years ago. i hope you will lead it as enriching as you did in your seventy-six years of existence. i never did believe in heaven, maybe because i've sinned so much in my own twenty years of life, but because of you, i truly believe heaven exists because i know thats where you went. you watched me grow up, indulging me with your great culinary skills year after year at every family gathering - from peranakan dishes during chinese new years to meesiam at christmas parties... festivals like these will never be the same again without your signature dishes and call to "come and eat.. there's plenty of food.. dont be shy.. help yourself!".
i genuinely felt guilty when i heard that you asked after my brother and i when my parents visited you in the hospital, but i never did make it down to pay you a visit.. taking for granted that you were en route to recovery and will be as healthy and joyful as before, despite a weaker constitution. every night since you left, i cry myself to sleep, praying for your forgiveness and my redemption for not discovering my love for cooking earlier so i could inherit your culinary skills. just this newyear, we were talking about going to the market together next year so i could help you out with all that cooking you do each year for all the families and learn from you.
im devastated that you left us. but i truly believe that we will all still feel your existence till its our turn to leave this world. im sorry these words came too late.
rest in peace auntie joanne."
22:46
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
i like final term exams.
i get the week off to study for it - means i can get up at anytime i like without feeling guilty about skipping lectures, turn on the tv and catch jamieoliver and oprah and come online and eat leftovers and nap all day.
after exams, its two weeks of holidays for me.
during which ill be spending my days waking up at 0530 to prepare coffee for my customers and get extended cause demand > supply.
after the holidays, a new semester begins and my days would be from 9 till 1730.
GAHH. I DONT LIKE FINAL TERM EXAMS !!!
22:30
